Someone asked me today: How do you know that the dog gives their consent to the type of training you are doing with them?
Bewildered and completely lost in a multitude of thoughts and emotions, I paused.
Is it a prank, and should I walk away?
Is it a joke, and should I laugh?
Is this person serious, and should I explain?
I figured I needed more data to make a coherent decision about the course I wanted to take this conversation in, so I asked: How do you mean?
The person explained that dogs have opinions and that it is only fair and responsible to respect these opinions.
For instance, they said, if someone wants to pet a dog and the dog makes eye contact, it means the dog is giving its consent. Conversely, if it looks away, it does not care for being touched.
Other examples included:
• Growling as a dog’s way of saying it’s tired or overwhelmed and wants to be left alone.
• Pulling on the leash as a way of saying we need to move faster.
• And my favourite one: a dog barking at other people and dogs because it can sense that these beings are inherently “bad.”
Of course, this barely coherent mix of stereotypes about dogs is amusing.
But one cannot help but notice that the pervasiveness of such stereotypes—and people’s unwillingness to think beyond them—is deeply problematic.
It’s not the “asking/waiting for consent” part that got me.
It’s the complete and utter ignorance about a dog’s body language.
There are a million different ways in which a dog can make eye contact with a person.
From a mellow, relaxed glance, to a curious and engaging “let’s have fun!” look, to a daring stare of an animal ready to fight.
Likewise, growling can be an innocent grumble—or a clear “come closer and I will bite you” warning.
These little looks, sounds, and motions dogs perform are not generic “body language signs” you can read about in a book.
They’re your dog’s unique way of communicating with the world around it.
You can’t worry about your dog consenting (or not) to something before you understand what the act of consenting even looks like.
In fact, due to the inherent differences between human and canine species, the whole premise of our coexistence rests on an expectation—an expectation that is anything but consent-driven—that dogs will ignore their instincts, change “undesirable” behaviours, and adapt to our lifestyle.
And they do—because dogs, unlike humans, don’t overthink things.
There is no concept of “consent” in animal society.
A dog will willingly do things it enjoys, hesitate and resist when unsure, and fight if forced to do something it strongly dislikes.
No hard feelings.
No separation agreements.
No psychological trauma.
No lawsuits.
As simple as that.
Everything else is imagined and mythologized by owners who want to find something human about their dogs so badly that they forget it’s a dog—not a human—and, in doing so, often act disrespectfully and even abusively toward the animal they took into their care.
Dogs don’t need to be asked for consent.
They just need to be understood—and respected—for who they are.