Why are folks so convinced that their dog will immediately start loving a new puppy? Also, what is up with the whole “introduce slowly and separate at the first signs of discomfort” movement?
I have seen an alarmingly increasing number of posts in dog self-help groups about how to introduce a new puppy to your dog. At their core, these posts are fundamentally flawed in taking two false assumptions as truth: 1. A dog loving or not loving a new puppy is a decision the dog is allowed to make (it is not); 2. Misinterpretation of what “my dog doesn’t like my new puppy” actually constitutes (often playful behaviour gets completely misunderstood for "aggression")
I have yet to meet a dog that would genuinely enjoy having a youngster invade its world and its space. To take its toys and food. To destroy the steady routine with new quirks.
Many dogs do enjoy a play session, and some can be quite tolerant towards new canine members of the family. However, all will at some point become annoyed - some right away and others in 30 minutes.
Therefore, whenever you bring a new puppy home, you have to accept the fact that your dog will probably not love the idea of having it around at first, so do come up with a clear strategy that has to address the following things:
- Your dog does not get to make decisions about whom you keep and whom you don’t keep. Therefore, any unfair expressions of aggression toward a new puppy should not be tolerated by you under the “feeling bad” umbrella
- Your new puppy does not get to use your dog as its chew toy or its perpetuate playmate. You are its playmate and you are the one providing chew toys.
Introduce the two dogs in a safe and supervised way, but do not let this process drag over several weeks “until everyone is comfortable” - because if you got to the point of considering this dragging on, it is very likely that you do not know what “comfortable” looks like for both dogs.
Moreover, prolonging things and coming up with all kinds of management solutions is not kindness - it is a torture, especially if you separate dogs at the first bark/whine/growl instead of figuring out what is going on and addressing it accordingly. Pretending that a problem does not exist and avoiding addressing it is a great way to have two dogs hate each other.
That is it. Nothing complicated. No expensive devices, no expensive trainers, no nonsense solutions.
Don’t pretend your new puppy does not exist and just start living with it as if it has always been there. You will be surprised how fast things will fall into place if you stop complicating your life.