Today was a windy, cold morning.
I went with my dog and my mom for a walk as usual and managed to meet not one but two instances of dog owners being victims of the wrongful perception of what their dogs needed or wanted.
As I said, it was cold. I do not tolerate cold super well, especially after this week’s hopeful spring beginning. Hence, my tolerance for rudeness and ignorance was, likewise, pretty low. I am mentioning this because the second we entered the park (my dog leashed) and approached a playground, we were met by an off-leash large dog who stood on its tiptoes, barked, and ran towards us.
The owner, walking somewhere close to the horizon line (and very far away from their dog), yelled infamous, “He just wants to play!”
I did not have time to respond as I had to take care of the potentially problematic situation. I put Orca in “down,” blocked her with my body and made a step in the direction of the approaching dog. The dog stopped – it did not have enough boldness to get further. I yelled, “Call your dog! My dog is not friendly!” The owner responded, “Oh, mine is!” and then, again, “He is not aggressive! Just wants to play!”
The strange dog kept standing there, hackles raised, sniffing the air, giving us a whale eye followed by a defensive “woof!” I yelled again, “Call your dog, now!” and made a step in the strange dog’s direction to facilitate a better response. The dog, unsure of what to do, backed up, barked some more, and then the owner finally called it, to which the dog (even more unsure of what to do further) happily responded.
I reminded this person that we were near the children’s playground and that the dogs are not allowed off-leash here. I also said that hers is anything but friendly or playful, at least not now, hence it needs to be under control. She was very irritated and told me to mind my own business.
I went on with our walk. At the park’s exit, we were met by a small fluffy dog on a harness and a flexi leash, who, upon seeing us, froze and leaned into the ground, with all its being demonstrating the “hunting” behaviour. The owner, apparently amused by their dog’s behaviour, just stood there. Both were completely blocking the paved walkway.
The weather was still terrible, and I already had an unpleasant encounter, so I did not want to engage in anything and just looped as far away from this dog as possible, with Orca being in a “heel.” It meant that I had to go into a grassy and muddy area in order to avoid meeting this dog nose-to-nose.
My mom, however, took the paved walkway and was barked at and lunged at by the little fluffy dog. The dog’s owner laughed and said, “Oh my God, you are so cute and funny” and finally started walking away from us.
Angry and upset, I asked this person, “Why do you think this is cute or funny? Your dog just attacked my mother,” to which they responded, “Oh, she is friendly and wanted to play; this is how she shows that she likes you.”
The first major problem with situations like those I encountered today is that dogs do not want the things that these people thought they wanted. The first one was trying to get us to walk away and out of the territory it perceived as its own. It could have ended with a dog fight, with injuries, with severe bites – you name it.
The other dog treated us as prey and straight out lunged and tried to bite my mom. It is not cute and neither it is funny, and play was not even close to what it wanted to do. Like the first dog, this one wanted to get rid of us; we were perceived as a threat by this dog.
The second problem is people’s entitlement and conviction that everyone around them is stupid.
I do not and will not believe that dog owners like the two we met today are genuinely convinced that their dogs only want to play. No one is that ignorant, and it was clearly not the first time these dogs were being rude. However, these people pretended that play was what their dogs were after to mislead me and my mother (what if we were not dog savvy?) or to make us feel stupid.
For them, it was emotionally “cheaper” than admitting that their dogs needed training or that their dog-walking practices were disrespectful and wrong. All that was summed up into a “my dog wants” construction, so that 1) It is the dog that gets the blame if everything goes wrong and 2) They are posing as tolerant, humane, conscientious individuals respectful of another life being’s wishes.
I wonder, then, how is this attitude “gentle” or “respectful”? Why is what one’s dog presumably “wants” more important than being respectful to others? Finally, who decided that their comfort is more important than somebody else’s?
If you encounter similar situations, never let anyone make you feel incompetent or stupid. Remember that whoever tries to convince you that you misread a clearly bad situation is probably choosing offence as the best way to defend themselves.